Mixtape 24: Late December 2005

1. Panda Bear – I’m Not
2. Man Man – Engwish Bwudd
3. Liars – The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack
4. Mogwai – Acid Food
5. Animal Collective – Fickle Cycle
6. Pink Mountaintops – New Drug Queens
7. Akron/Family – Dylan Pt. 2
8. My Morning Jacket – Off the Record
9. Black Dice – Wastered
10. Circulatory System – Symbols and Maps

* * * * *

Now we're getting somewhere, by God. This is the kind of playlist that in January 2005 I could have only dreamed of creating. Too bad it was the last one of the year, and too bad it can only exist in my mind as the official soundtrack of the New York City transit strike. Still, it wasn't all bad; yeah, taxi zones and no subways kind of sucked, but I'll probably remember walking to school through the park with "Dylan Pt. 2" making me feel like the star of The Graduate or something (just not Garden State, please).
"I'm Not" comes off Panda Bear's I'm Not/Comfy in Nautica EP from UUAR. Ostensibly, it was released to whet the world's appetite for an upcoming full length from the Animal Collective alum, but all it really did is set up impossibly high expectations. "I'm Not" is gorgeous shimmery vocals one on top of the other, and gentle drumming in the background, impossibly delicate. The whole thing feels too wispy, with harmonies only sustainable for a fraction of a second, once a century. Listening to this song feels like seeing Halley's Comet.
But as it turns out I was just getting started. I remember listening to Liars' newly-leaked Drum's Not Dead on the subway (evidently this was before the strike commenced), hoping desperately to like it. Nothing really clicked that first time (though that would soon change). I almost gave up. On the way home, I decided to give the last song on the album a shot. A minute later, I was transfixed. There are songs that take multiple listens, there are songs that take single listens, and there's "The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack". A minute in, I knew I had a new song for the mixtape. There was never any doubt. This one, too, is delicate, but it builds momentum as it goes and turns into a quiet stunner. Empty space gives way to haphazard guitar plucks give way to breathed harmonies give way to "I won't run far / I can always be found," repeated over and over and building with forceful drum pounds and confident bass anchors and you don't want to open your eyes for fear you'll ruin the beauty of the moment. I've liked Liars. I've written about them. But Christ. Who ever thought they were capable of this?
Up in Vermont for New Year's, I thought about the year, what I had accomplished, and other manner of masturbatory back-patting. It's a coincidence that the last song on this playlist is composed primarily of the lyrics "I know you've come a long way / Such a long way...", but if it wasn't a coincidence it'd be just as well. 2005 was easily the best year of my life. Things clicked in profound ways, and while I'm not saying my playlists had anything to do with anything, they are inextricably linked in my mind nonetheless. I won't be able to think of summer 2005 without Stephen Malkmus' "Pencil Rot" playing in my head. That's a drop in the bucket; the associations I built up over the year, the songs I hear when I think of people, the depth of personal attachment is honestly immeasurable.
But goddamn, compiling 24 mixtapes was a bitch.